Jo: I need a Lymie boyfriend. That way we can tell each other stories over and over and they'll always be new.
Courtney: What if you forget you're supposed to have a date?
Jo: Won't matter. We'll understand each other and when we do remember, it'll be exciting, like the first date all over again.
Jo: I think I'm gonna die.
Mom: You can't die. We've got too much money in you now.
Jo: "I've had my gallbladder out, my tonsils out, I've got exploding ovaries, all these old people aches and pains, and now a new issue? What else can be removed without killing me? .......
Wait, not the boobs!!!"
Nurse walks into exam room just in time to hear that last part. She giggles, makes a face, and says, "Save the boobies!"
In the local children's hospital - also a teaching facility - Josey spent the night and at about 6 a.m., the residents start showing up. EVERY ONE OF THEM says, "How are we feeling this morning?" Each then proceeds to mash the painful spots on Jo, ask if it hurts (duh), and have her move the painful joints. After resident #5...
Jo: "If one more person walks in here and asks how I'm feeling, I'm going to tell the truth.
I'll say, 'Don't know about you. I feel like shit. Don't touch me.' "
We broke out in giggles and right on cue, here comes a resident.
Josey is laughing, I'm grinning from ear to ear, but she doesn't say it. The resident looks confused when Jo reports her pain is a 10.
During the same hospital stay we realized the staff thought her symptoms were somatic, they couldn't possibly be Lyme related, and they were going to discharge her without further tests or treatment.
I'm a mental health professional and my kids are familiar with psych evaluations.
A chosen resident comes in, asks to slide her chair close to the bed and chat for a while. It takes about two questions for the both of us to realize this is a psych eval and they think Jo is faking or having psychosomatic pain.
Josey should be an actress.
Keep in mind that she's one of the most social, caring people around. Preschool teachers nicknamed her "the cruise director" because she tried to be sure all the kids had someone to play with.
Dr: " Do you have friends at school?"
Jo: "A couple. I generally avoid people whenever possible."
Dr: "It's ok to have one or two close friends vs a bunch of people you don't know well."
Jo: "I don't like people."
Dr: "Why not?"
Jo: "They get on my nerves."
Dr: "Do you like school?"
Jo: "Nope. I try to just get through the day so I can go home and be alone."
Dr: "Um, you spend a lot of time alone?"
Jo: "Yeah, I think it's best to avoid them so I'm not mean to anyone."
Dr: "We can find you a counselor and you can work on your social skills if you want."
Jo: "No thanks. Not interested."
At this point, the woman looked at me with concern and maybe a little pity. She said she would get me some referrals and suggested I really try to get Jo to go. I smiled at her and nodded. Somebody didn't read the parent information at the top of the chart.
Our neighbor recently got a new roof.
Jo: "Why are they getting new plates on their house?"
Jeff: "Shingles, Josey. Those are shingles."
Jo: "Well, if they get plates they can eat up there. Whatever."
Jeff: "Mom, she's gettin' crazy again."
Jo: "You better hope I don't get my memory and strength back at the same time."