Josey spent last weekend with her dad and it was stressful for her, as usual, and by the time she got home Sunday night, she was in the midst of an allergic reaction to something. We've tried to guess what she ate that had an allergen in it but we're still not sure. That night she started coughing and having more trouble breathing than usual and it got worse until yesterday when I took her to our LL nurse practitioner, who did a chest x-ray, gave her an inhaler and told me to add extra Mucinex on top of cough syrup. The NP is hoping not to add a steroid and that the doxycycline Josey already takes will help get rid of the bronchitis. Thankfully it wasn't pneumona. Tonight she seems to be feeling better.
The photo is by my nine-year-old son, Jeffrey. My husband and I took him on a hike last weekend and he made it the whole seven miles, taking a few pics with my phone as we went. He's a trooper and he's got a good eye. This picture says a lot to me - it reminds me of the sweet time we had hiking together - it reminds me of what Josey can't do - it shows the beauty of nature and reminds me that even though I couldn't see the end of the trail, I knew it was out there. Lyme disease has an end point; we're counting on it.
Josey gets really down sometimes. I keep reminding her she's killing the germs but she has started saying she doesn't care any more. Not what a Mom wants to hear. When she has good days she's able to go see friends, go to church, and even go to work for a couple hours. When she has bad days, it's really bad lately. Sleep is elusive, she's nauseous, bones and muscles hurt, her brain and guts and head hurt, and she can't think. The bright spot we try to give her is that during the good times she seems to be able to accomplish a little more.
People ask how she's doing and it's hard to answer. When I tell the truth on a bad day, folks have no idea what to say because they're overwhelmed. Usually, I just say she's hanging in there. If it's a good day, they say how wonderful that is and that it's so great the meds are working. Both are true. Lord knows we try to keep her moving through the wilderness, waiting for the end.